THREE HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR

SONG OF THE DAY #344
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Maybe I'm Amazed
by Paul McCartney

This was one of the greatest nights of my life.

14 HOURS EARLIER:

I woke up at 10, took a shower, and gathered up some words. It's the morning after the letter. I'd never opened up that much to anyone before, and it freaked me the hell out. I practically tore my heart out and bled on paper yesterday, the craziest day of my life. I checked my emails and read one from Onstead, in response planning to volunteer at Fairchild later this week.

I chucked up some courage and talked to Jaife this morning. We agreed on no weirdness, and we thought about making this part of our relationship, instead of just seeing it as a hiccup. We were this close to moving on, and for several hours we did. So what was the next thing I did? The same thing we do every day, Pinky: talk to Mileini and watch Glee, and plan for the movies with Crystal.

At 7:30 I met Crystal, Chang and a friend at Palace 18. We watched Limitless and walked around the strip mall, talking about nothing in particular and eating wheat thins. When it was time to go, Crys took Chang and Victor home and I waited around her neighborhood for her to get home. I drove around and then parked a few blocks south of her house. This was my downfall. After having a bland evening with Crystal's friends, maybe it wasn't the best idea to sit around by yourself, letting music convince me that I love someone else. It started with the Eels, and then it transcended into McCartney and I couldn't stop myself. I started hyperventilating again, and my heart started beating. I couldn't believe it, but I was thinking of her.

I woke my confiante up and explained everything, and doing that I realized that these things don't just happen. I can't keep letting my life pass me by. Not when feelings like these are involved, because I don't come by them often. I begged, "Dime que la vaya a buscar. Solo dímelo."

Crystal texts me. She's home, but it's too late. The Beatle has brainwashed me.

I tell Mileini to take Jaife to the fountain. I feel nauseous again. I pack some courage and that godforsaken Geico cupholder, and get in the car. I drive to the fountain. I drive to the fountain.